Today is turning out to be a pretty rough day. I had to be up at 3am (as I've said before, I'm so not a morning person) worked one leg to Portland then took 3 flights to get home to tri-cities for my single day off before I have to go back for 6. Its really not fun as a flight attendant to get off work then spend another 5 hours in airports or planes just to get home for the day. All I wanted to do was get home and hug Zach and enjoy the rest of the day. I have a habit of wanting to enjoy my time with him, just being, when I have a few hours to do so...between the being with Zach and the working I don't set a lot of time aside for chores. Such is the story today. When you get up at 3am by the time noon rolls around you just want to put your feet up and maybe get some food but there were things to be taken care of and Zach was a little more motivated then I was today. We had quite the tiff and I shed quite a few tears. He is a very realistic, sometimes a little pessimistic, person. I am much the opposite. Usually if I just smile and tough it out I know it will all be ok.
So the problem, I have no car, and I have had no car since July. Now when I was working before my surgery Zach was in Portland and could take me to work. That is no longer the case. He is in tri-cites for the duration, whatever that may be, and I am in Portland working. When I came back to work a few weeks ago I borrowed my uncle's extra car. Well, that decided to die on the side of the road with me in it. I have put a bid on a little saturn at a bank repo auction house but they haven't told me if I will be getting the car or not. Now, I need a car Sunday to get to work so Zach told me, last resort, I could take the 4runner for a few days but he has changed his mind. It is leaking oil and he is worried about it breaking down with me in it as well.
My ultimate problem, his delivery of this information. Rather then saying 'Babe I don't think the truck is going to make it to Portland and I don't want you stranded again so we need to find a car today. Have you seen anything else that we could call on?' He tells me all of the things I have done wrong thus far. Tells me its my fault I am in the situation I am in (which I am obviously aware of). Overall, just making me feel a hundred times worse then I already did about the situation with out helping me come up with a solution. I know that it isn't his job to come up with a solution for me or even help me for that matter but there is no reason to make it worse.
I don't know if I am being overly sensitive. I don't know who is right. I don't know how to make him understand my point of view. I just don't know.
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Oh Cassie, I'm so sorry. Hang in there. I know how the delivery of a message can make all the difference! Ry isn't the best with optimistic words either. Sometimes you have to go elsewhere for understanding, men don't know how to show empathy sometimes. Best of luck, I wish I had an extra car I could send your way....I have an idea! Move out here! ; )
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